the 'high' of work

you need to feel impt. you need to feel like you are doing something productive. you want to make a difference. is this an innate feeling? or the product of society? is it not possible to feel good about yourself even if you are not doing much. is procrastinating such a waste of life?

in Vermont, i felt tt i was living out my life even tho i was doing nothing other den cleaning, waitressing, and more cleaning and even more staring at the trees. the pace of the environment makes me settle in comfortably.

back in Spore, i felt like i was wasting the oxygen in the precious Spore air whenever i feel like i'm not learning anything in school or doing some impt projects or assignments. and i struggle at the back of my mind, wanting to do nothing and be useless. now that the second half of the sem is here and i'm finally seeing what my initial procrastinating is doing to the amount of work i have now, i duno to feel 'high' or to lament at the deadlines chasing me.